Well i'm in the mood to write, not entirely sure why but whatever, its how i feel..
I Don't know why i'm writing on DA, because it is completely unrelated to anything, i guess its because DA is the only place where people can read what i'm saying, but chances are, the people reading this won't have a fucking clue who i am, because not many of my friends have/use DA...

Well, i havn't written anything that meant anything in a while....I found when i used to write a diary, it kind of bought me down..
Like, most entries were about Alex, or directed at him.

Right now its an average (for my life, lol) Thursday morning.
I woke up for school, but i can barely breathe and i felt so sick, so i went back to bed..
Got up at about 10am, went downstairs and made myself a whiskey and orange juice (we only have whiskey and one beer in my house atm..)
I came upstairs again and lit a cigarette.

And thats where i am now, drinking and smoking and writing. But there seems to be something very tortured soul/art about it, as for some reason i felt like putting on a pretty dress..
Or maybe i'm just an average teenager, so caught up in her own world she's blinded to reality.

You never know...
I want to put in some stupidly artistic and intelligent quote here, but fuck it, i can't think of anything fitting...

Its funny actually, i'm writing yet i've got nothing worth saying...

I don't know who i am in life, living in the past is bad, and makes me sad..I've got no clue about what i'm doing, and i'm completely fucking up my future..

Oh well, i think i'm happy..The thing is, i don't know what i think about things...
But is that the way i'm meant to be at 16?

I think its time for another cigarette...

Its taking me forever to write this, because i don't even know what point i'm trying to make, so i keep getting sidetracked and doing other things...

I sometimes wish things were easy, but i guess that would be pretty boring, no stories to tell and no memories to reflect on

I've just realized (someone tell me how to spell that word, it always confuses me..) that i started off writing this is paragraphs as some kind of constant prose but now everything is kind of broken up into different random thoughts entering my head..
Like how i havn't been sleeping lately. It scares the hell out of me, because i've done the whole depression thing and i'm over that now. i'm happy now. I'm terrified of going back to who i used to be.
I'm a completely different person now. I mean i do have traits in my personality that i can't stand, but i don't want to change.

Whatever...I'm going to stop writing because i'm sick of it to be quite honest...
The End. Haha, i'll be happy. i am happy.